You know when it's over when you contemplate taking your own life, feeling like you've been beaten down to almost nothing but to the very core of yourself. A child quivering in a corner, begging for help from the one person they thought would understand them, seeing nothing aside from a face forged in anger and hate. Crying out all you want is attention, that you are pathetic and everything horrible. You feel like everything has been based on a lie for the past two years, like you've been used and milked for all your worth. You are the one who needs to 'grow up' when in reality, you're the least selfish person in the world and care for nothing but your partners happiness. You let them have power over you, letting them belittle your feelings and showing you how you can be controlled so easily. Sometimes you're lucky to have something like this, that it's what you deserve. Being someones toy to use, it's a horrible feeling but yet you feel that it's what your purpose is. To be theirs and only theirs, to serve them, to never question them and to bottle things up till you can't take it anymore.
You let loose everything, hoping someone will hear how loud you cry. Maybe someone is there to save you from the darkness. But no, only one person is there, calling you pathetic and childish.
They are the only person who you trust, who you thought cared and loved you but all they caused you is the emotional and mental scars that will stay with you for life.
Friends and family come to your aid in their steed, telling you it's time to let them go. That you no longer need them in your life and you deserve better. Finally for once you decide to listen. Feeling with a heavy heart in tow, you let go, feeling the weight relieved from you. Feeling free and ready to move on.
This blog is about how I feel in my mind about my current relationship which I will be ending soon. I've been emotionally and mentally abused in more ways than one. I felt like this should be shared, no one deserves to want to hurt themselves over someone.
Do not let yourself get into a relationship like this, I beg of all of you.