Lesbian Blogs > Erdogan's blogs > A newbie, looking for friends
A newbie, looking for friends Sort by:
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erdogan
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Posted on Thu, Nov 26, 2009 13:01

Unlike some people here I still have not come out about my sexual preferences. I amaze myself really, cause at some points I feel straight but on the outside (who is fooling who?); work, friends, family, etc. I act normal, very feminine and get along with men so well. The problem begins around women I like, thank god I only have one for now (my closest ex-friend, she practically ran for her life after realizing I had feelings for her, more then just friendship). The lowest thing a person could do is fall in love with a friend! So lame of me, she saw me as a friend and I completely fell for her. guilty conscience!! I don?t think I can come out ever, since I don?t live in a community that goes well with gays,bis, lesbians, etc. Just because of this fact I don?t have any friends who share the same feelings and preferences. Feels like I?m at a point where I need guidance and experienced friends to help me get through this phase of life. So here I am, hello friends.


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erdogan
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Posted on Tue, May 17, 2011 07:02

:)) just tell it to someone who is going to love you the very same way as before. Oh but if there isnt anyone like that around, then wait... someday someone will be there for you no matter your preferences.


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mj1998
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Posted on Sun, Jul 11, 2010 10:15

its hard coming out i haven't yet i don't know who to tell first sometimes i am just confused


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erdogan
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Posted on Sat, Mar 13, 2010 03:11

Quoting Stlfem

I was thinking of how you only tell a handful of people and almost wonder if you are doing yourself an injustice. By putting it out there you might just find what you are looking for. Just sayin...I respect your position but feel for you. You say you carefully picked this handful of friends but it hurt you when they questioned your motive...maybe some outsiders will be more open to your honesty. Best of luck to you:) xo


Hmm, wow why did'nt I think of it this way =/ but cant we give credit to me joining this site and opening up to people on here? who have been there, gone through all? Maybe I'll never be open to anyone close (other then my 2 people + best friend I fell in love with!). Dont know :(


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Stlfem
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Posted on Fri, Mar 12, 2010 06:41

I was thinking of how you only tell a handful of people and almost wonder if you are doing yourself an injustice. By putting it out there you might just find what you are looking for. Just sayin...I respect your position but feel for you. You say you carefully picked this handful of friends but it hurt you when they questioned your motive...maybe some outsiders will be more open to your honesty. Best of luck to you:) xo


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erdogan
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Posted on Thu, Mar 11, 2010 04:59

Quoting Poppet

Hey, i know exactly how you are feeling, i fell for a really good friend of mine and like you she ran for the hills, it broke my heart... i became really depressed and was failing school it was too much for me, i also hadn't come out to anyone, so i was dealing with it by myself... i've since only told a handful of friends... the one question they all ask me though is 'how do you know?' all i can say to them is.. 'i just do' it actually hurts that i feel the need to have to justify myself to them... the reason i'm not totaly out is because (this may sound stupid) the whole world doesn't deserve to know i'm gay... they don't need to know... i tell the people i want to tell and if that means that it's just a handfull of close friends that i trust then so be it... it's not that i'm ashamed... i just don't feel like the world needs to know... and i don't plan on telling the whole world... I do however tell guys when they are trying to hit on me... =) I'm not sure if any of that madfe sence at all... but basically i know exactly how you're feeling... You are absolutly stunning by the way and your ex-friend clearly doesn't know what she's missing out on!!! Xx


So we all been there :) Thanks for sharing this with me (us, actually since all these people take time to read lol) YES it made sense dont worry hon :)) Oh good idea: "I'm a lesbian" or "Sorry, I'm not interested" lol or more like "Thank God I'm not interested in men!" sort of comment can keep men away from me yes.


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Poppet
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Posted on Mon, Mar 08, 2010 10:41

Hey, i know exactly how you are feeling, i fell for a really good friend of mine and like you she ran for the hills, it broke my heart... i became really depressed and was failing school it was too much for me, i also hadn't come out to anyone, so i was dealing with it by myself... i've since only told a handful of friends... the one question they all ask me though is 'how do you know?' all i can say to them is.. 'i just do' it actually hurts that i feel the need to have to justify myself to them... the reason i'm not totaly out is because (this may sound stupid) the whole world doesn't deserve to know i'm gay... they don't need to know... i tell the people i want to tell and if that means that it's just a handfull of close friends that i trust then so be it... it's not that i'm ashamed... i just don't feel like the world needs to know... and i don't plan on telling the whole world... I do however tell guys when they are trying to hit on me... =) I'm not sure if any of that madfe sence at all... but basically i know exactly how you're feeling... You are absolutly stunning by the way and your ex-friend clearly doesn't know what she's missing out on!!! Xx


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bluesky1961
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Posted on Mon, Feb 15, 2010 06:34

just be true to yourself and love will find you.


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AmberS
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Posted on Mon, Feb 01, 2010 14:54

Erdogan you are beautiful and any women would be luck to have you. I have fallen for my married friend and it is complicated. She tells me I make her so horny and so wet unlike anyone else but it sucks that her husband anyways comes first. I love kissing and touching her and how she makes me feel. I can never wait til we can be together again. Something I wish we never started this. I do not have a clue what to do. I wish I was young and lived near you. O well that's life.


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erdogan
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Posted on Mon, Jan 11, 2010 04:35

Quoting: Originally posted by aliceatrest
I hope you will do as you want to do, come out or not, and as I also live in a city that does not have the ability to understand lesbians, I have to fight the men off, and only then do I say what I am. I came here to find friends, and perhaps someone close to my city that could share interests, going out, staying in, doing things, without the sexual part getting involved. I just ended my very first encounter, after 2 yrs. I feel like I don't know what to do and I am somewhat alone now, because I moved away from her, to a place I love yet know no one. Its not going to be easy, but its going to be worth it.


Welcome alice. Moving to a new place and ending a relation :/ is it you or is it life being hard on yourself? Did you have to end it? I mean if you two really loved one and other long distance relationships work too. I wonder, will we ever get to see/live in a city which can understand gays,lesbians,bi sexuals etc as normal people.


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aliceatrest
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Posted on Sun, Jan 10, 2010 17:52

I hope you will do as you want to do, come out or not, and as I also live in a city that does not have the ability to understand lesbians, I have to fight the men off, and only then do I say what I am. I came here to find friends, and perhaps someone close to my city that could share interests, going out, staying in, doing things, without the sexual part getting involved. I just ended my very first encounter, after 2 yrs. I feel like I don't know what to do and I am somewhat alone now, because I moved away from her, to a place I love yet know no one. Its not going to be easy, but its going to be worth it.

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erdogan
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Posted on Sun, Jan 10, 2010 09:55

Quoting: Originally posted by Caityyy1
Hi, you make total sense, it's not even funny. I fell for my friend too, and was shot down completely. I feel the same way - I'm so stuck on what to do. I'm Caity,it's nice to meet you


Nice to meet you Caity, it is hard to be shut down by the love of your life. But we have to get through this. There will always be ups and downs, no matter what happens we have to continue, move on etc.. lol this is what I keep on telling myself


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erdogan
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Posted on Sun, Jan 10, 2010 03:43

Quoting: Originally posted by Sag2010
I totally fell for my best friend... It's what finally made me decide I HAD TO come OUT. I didn't loose my best friend...but she made it very clear, we would NEVER be together. I love her still not because, I'm IN LOVE with her.. but because she's the one that made it so obvious to me... I AM GAY! Because my heart was so broken, and I couldn't "hide" my feelings, I pretty much had to OUT myself. I have never regretted one day since. I wish I would have done it YEARS ago. No Lesbian relationships are not better, or that much different than being in a relationship with a guy. The difference and the happiness comes from, not living a lie. Being Happy with who and what you are. And Being able to share it with the world. I feel for you. You're a beautiful lady, and she's probably missing out on the love of a lifetime. Sag2010


lol so we all go through the same road to realise who we trully are? Hmm as I read your post, it made me realise ; yes thanks to her I came out to myself. I listened to myself finally! Yes there was something different in me, and thanks to her I gave a serious thought and listened my inner feelings. My first step to be honest and true to myself began with her. Maybe this is why I'm holding on to her, not letting her go ?!? hmmm. Like you, I'm still in love with her and yes I know this love will never fade away. I never been in a lesbian relationship so I cant compare however it feels as if it s going to be much more better then being with a man. " The difference and the happiness comes from, not living a lie. Being Happy with who and what you are. And Being able to share it with the world." Amen to thiS!!


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erdogan
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Posted on Sun, Jan 10, 2010 03:42

Quoting: Originally posted by americasmostwant
i've personally never been near a closet!but i understand that some people have to venture out of their shell eventually and when you do,don't go back!!people are always afraid of the unknown but once they get past their own insecurities,they'll accept you for who you are,and if they don't,well love,accept yourself and live your life..no regrets-no remorse


People affraid of the unknown! YES! Even I am affraid of the unknown! Actually I was affraid of my unkown part all these years. Never knew what to do with it. Therefor could not accept it. It is starting to get to me, if isnt something to be affraid of. Accept myself and live my life. :) No regrets - no remorse!! Ok mam! *this will be my moto!!* Thank youuu!!


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erdogan
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Posted on Sun, Jan 10, 2010 03:40

Quoting: Originally posted by diamondkisses
Hey ma...I feel ur pain but how can u be true to others if ur not first true to urself...the world is always gonna have an opinion but our differences is what makes life worth living. Be proud of who u are no matter what u may go through. And by the way..hi new friend my name is diamond but my friends call me TAE.


Hey Tae, (what does tae stand for?) ow sparkling diamond nice name. Nice to meet you and welcome. I'm working on being true to myself, it is new you know. Never felt this pain before, its hard on my heart and soul. But I'm gonna get through this right? I envy and admire all those ladies who are out there, who came out, against all odds and obsticals. Strong woman! God bless them, they are (you all are) my inspiration!


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Sag2010
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Posted on Sat, Jan 09, 2010 13:57

I totally fell for my best friend... It's what finally made me decide I HAD TO come OUT. I didn't loose my best friend...but she made it very clear, we would NEVER be together. I love her still not because, I'm IN LOVE with her.. but because she's the one that made it so obvious to me... I AM GAY! Because my heart was so broken, and I couldn't "hide" my feelings, I pretty much had to OUT myself. I have never regretted one day since. I wish I would have done it YEARS ago. No Lesbian relationships are not better, or that much different than being in a relationship with a guy. The difference and the happiness comes from, not living a lie. Being Happy with who and what you are. And Being able to share it with the world. I feel for you. You're a beautiful lady, and she's probably missing out on the love of a lifetime. Sag2010


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diamondkisses
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Posted on Sat, Jan 09, 2010 13:33

Hey ma...I feel ur pain but how can u be true to others if ur not first true to urself...the world is always gonna have an opinion but our differences is what makes life worth living. Be proud of who u are no matter what u may go through. And by the way..hi new friend my name is diamond but my friends call me TAE.


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americasmostwant
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Posted on Sat, Jan 09, 2010 07:21

i've personally never been near a closet!but i understand that some people have to venture out of their shell eventually and when you do,don't go back!!people are always afraid of the unknown but once they get past their own insecurities,they'll accept you for who you are,and if they don't,well love,accept yourself and live your life..no regrets-no remorse

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Caityyy1
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Posted on Fri, Jan 08, 2010 14:46

Hi, you make total sense, it's not even funny. I fell for my friend too, and was shot down completely. I feel the same way - I'm so stuck on what to do. I'm Caity,it's nice to meet you


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queen_ta_l
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Posted on Tue, Jan 05, 2010 17:41

WELL IT TAKE TIME TO COME OUT.. ITS ALL UP TO YOU!


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