Lesbian Blogs > Issabela's blogs > New and confused
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Issabela
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Posted on Thu, Feb 18, 2010 22:54

So I am new to this site - looking for some advice and help. I recently have started to admit to myself that I may be gay - and am struggling with what to do with that information. I was with a woman for almost 3 years and when we broke up almost four years ago I decided it was just a mistake or something that just happened - that it didn't mean I was gay. We were in a secret relationship - nobody knew about it, although I know her family suspected it. I just convinced myself that I would go back to being with men. But since then I have not had one serious relationship and I can't stop thinking about her - and I don't even think it is my ex, but just the fact that she is the only woman I have had an intimate relationship with. No idea where to go from here. I don't know any other lesbians and I don't even know where to begin to figure out what I am feeling. Advice anyone?


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changingwoman
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total posts: 5
Posted on Sun, Feb 21, 2010 11:43

Isabella,

I went through something similar. I had a break up and she left to be with her boss. Its also something I don't care to remember. I felt like I got used for three years. But there is life after death(of the heart). Keep going strong and you will prevail, gay or not.


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Issabela
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Posted on Sat, Feb 20, 2010 23:34

Just want to add to what I said earlier - I do realize, well at least I do now, that even though I may not be ok with being gay, it doesn't mean I'm not gay, and that I don't or shouldn't find a way to work towards being ok with it. I just need to figure out how to adjust my life to my new relizations - and then move forward with those adjustments. So much easier to say than do...


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Issabela
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Posted on Sat, Feb 20, 2010 23:10

Thanks tmj - I def feel confused like you. I have struggled to find a guy that I can be happy with - and sometimes I wonder if I am trying to find a guy to make everyone else happy...frustrating. I'm not sure what to or how to deal with it all. Datgurlofmine - I don't think I would be ok with being gay - not because I have a problem with people being gay but I don't think my family would react well and my job also opens up some concerns. I have considered talking to a couple of my closest friends but at the same time I know they would be shocked - and would it be too big of news for them to keep to themselves? I just dont know...


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tmj5431
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Posted on Sat, Feb 20, 2010 15:30

girl i know how you feel! ahh! you have no idea how happy to hear someone say that! I came out about 6 years ago, Im with a guy right now, and it's not so bad but like..it just doesn;t feel right. I've been in and out of many relationships and im cought in a crossfire. Im here to talk if you need any addvice! =D Sincerely Tab


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datgurlofmine
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Posted on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 16:51

honey, i think it is cause you miss having the girlfriend there for everything you guys did.it's ok to grief. if this is what you are feeling then it is possible you are gay, the question is, being gay ok with you? i find that i am k with it and have no problems letting people know i enjoy it.


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