With this my intention is to create a place where everybody can state what it is to them to be part of the sexual minority. Weather we like it or not, our society has labels, and we have our own labels that have been created by those influences and that we use in most times to stop the hatred or feel that hatred come our way and use it to our advantage. As much as we would like to say that we have never felt marginalized, its not true. The objective is to talk freely and respectfully.
A woman that is convinced that our utopias are useful for walking. Or like I like to say in spanish " Las utopias sirven para caminar".
Behind every great MAN?
Throughout my years, I have heard this phrase countless times "Behind every great man, there is a woman standing".
Where I am from, the phrase symbolizes the fact that every man is only as great as the women "plural" he has standing behind him. Because for a man to be completely a MAN in all its conditions, it requires for him to have multiple women, one wife... yes and a home as well...; but ultimately many many mistresses.
To me this phrase has always seemed deplorable, unacceptable and downright nasty. Not only because well Im a lesbian, but also, because its the gosh darn 21st century and women are still considered as prizes, trophies, sexual objects. Then again, us women, well we are not as saintly either, because slowly but steadily; Ive become to learn that we have the same capability of being as animalistically sexual as men. But anyhow, that is beyond the point.
As you may have all guessed, I am from a very conservative background of parents that believe in hard work instead of politicians and in God instead of religion. However; be the conservative nature of the people that surround me; I've never quite liked that phrase, until I heard this one "Behind every great woman stands another one". At first I thought well that can be quite a beautiful statement as well as a downright evil conviction.
I would like to think of it in the good fashion. Behind every great woman stands another one...waiting to break the fall, waiting to give her hand, waiting to be the friend or waiting to show the other affection or better yet, love.
Now, I know many people out there will read this and most probably hate me, judge me, spite me even without knowing me, but for those who are willing to read with open minds, I would love to encourage you to hear my thoughts, my background and my anecdotes and share, compare or feel free to enjoy.
Lets start by the beginning:
I am a 26 year old woman. I come from a family made up of old schooled puertoricans, although I myself was born and raised in the States. I don't consider myself fully Puertorican although the fact is that Im not entirely American either, because even though I was born and raised in the states, many still consider me a dirty immigrant, which my friends, isn't entirely true cause Puerto Rico is part of the USA and they have had the american citizenship for a very long time; but Im deviating again, bare with me it is in my nature, yet politics and idealism's aside we must continue.
I am a biologist with a doctoral degree in law. Yes, I am an honest to goodness, Lawyer. That wasn't entirely the initial plan, actually not the plan at all but life does play funny old tricks.
Either way, to the facts of this blog; for a very very long time I have read many blogs from many places and many people and I have yet to find one, only one, that speaks of the true nature of what it is to be a alternative sexual group, and note I say alternative with the up most respect and I dont state LESBIAN because I want more than anything for everyone to feel free to read and talk and even to empower us with their own stories and with their own problems. SO here goes nothing, to the plain objectives:
1 - well I wanted to see what it would be like to put oneself out there in the world and see how others reacted to that
2- I want to believe that my not so pretty life story, reflects on others
3- I really want to inspire people, anyone
4- This blog should be a reflection of "alternative lifestyle life", and include all alternative people to enjoy, engross and involve as well as evolve our lives.
So in order to do so; My proposition is that I will write one quote each time I blog in - they wont be of religion or God, because to each his own- just about life, and I will then consequently right my ideas about that quote and hopefully you all will get inspired to join in and comment.
Therefore today's quote is: "Behind every great woman..."
I first stumbled across this phrase, or maybe mantra, cause I strive to live up to the expectation of this mantra, but yes deviating again...
This is a quote given to me by an old friend, and when I say old I don't mean our friendship is old, I mean She is. 89 to be exact... a wonderful courageous, woman that allowed herself to be exactly the person she was born to be and that got spited for it. Her love story, well it didn't happen as she would have wanted but somehow she doesn't regret even for a second, taking the chance to tell her best mate those 3 small words that can change a persons life followed by 3 other small words that can make it all worthy... I am gay & I love you.
When I first started to realize in my personal life that I wasn't quite content with the whole men and woman thing, I began questioning many people, the priest, the nuns, my friends, the counselors, the business men and women, until I came upon this old lady who I just happened to cross in the craziest of places... a CHURCH. One day I came across this very amazing human being, the same person that gave me this quote, in a church nonetheless. I had gone their looking for some solace, a break from the middle of a hectic world that surrounded me and an even more hectic bottle of thoughts that would give me no respite. And as I sat there, the father came up to me, saw me in my prep school uniform and sat there, just looking at me, until finally as if something had revealed itself to him said, " My child you are confused, but let thou confusions not frighten thou soul and perish thou faith". I precisely remember saying "Father, if I am confused then my creation was erred". The father spited me for even thinking of such things and gave me a lecture about God, faith and our duties upon keeping ourselves clean for him. After a while, he finally gave up, and this very old lady moved from her pew and sat next to me... She had been giving the father and I a very confused look on its own, and rather frightening to me as well, for I believed for sure that I had somehow offended her by just my mere presence in a place that seemed to be a solace for her as well. The second she sat down, I thought for certain that, that was round 2, but all she said was; "Your creation nor mine are erred my dear, and don't think for a minute that you or I are less or more than anyone else. You were created perfectly". That is how she and I became friends. She followed that day by telling me her entire life story. We sat for an amount of time in those pews, that I believed for sure that the nuns and father would ask of our absence, they never did, and I heard every word and hung to every breath as if they were a life raft. At the end of our lengthy conversation she said " I want you to remember these words... Behind every great woman; there are many others who desire to be her or to bring her down. You are one of those great woman, and I my dear desire to be you.
We became great friends, and I spoke to her of everything, but time and life took its course and as always every great story has its new beginning, a few years later she passed away, but not without leaving me with 3 things, one- her teachings and stories, two- her love and faith and 3-her courage that inspired me to have courage and desire to live, love and laugh.
So what I think of that phrase:
I believe that behind every great person (woman or man) there is another waiting