Lesbian Blogs > Nikki615w's blogs > The life you`ve lived......Dictates who you are.
The life you`ve lived......Dictates who you are. Sort by:
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nikki615w
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total posts: 9
Posted on Wed, Jul 25, 2007 12:35

My life has been, to say the least bazaar. But, it has made me who I am today. And I like who I am....SOMETIMES!... Actually most of the time. There are somethings that I do that I dont think through, then end up in quite a mess. To try to explain who I am and what I'm about and what I want to a close friend, can be extremely complicated. But, I do believe they get the gist of it. I dont even begin to try to explain to someone that I dont know well. I think I am in this site in search of others that will become FWB. But also someone that I can tell my inner most thoughts to. MY fears, my wants, my desires. I think it makes it simple to be able to be with them, then when the night or weekend ends we can part ways for the week with no problems. I know this is usual with most on here. But, everyone does it for different reasons. And in my case I know that I am so afraid to get too close to anyone. I am afraid that it would be a disaster to meet a man and fall in Love again. So, I choose to live my life this way, out of fear as well as simplicity. I know that seems unfair to a potential partner. And im probably cheating myself out of meeting someone that would treat me respectfully, gernerously, equally with kindness and compassion. Maybe someday that will happen. But for now, it has to be the way it is.

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