Lesbian Blogs > Patticat's blogs > Anyone care about lesbian feelings?
Anyone care about lesbian feelings? Sort by:
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patticat
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Posted on Sun, May 21, 2006 17:40

Can you be lesbian and still be sweet and loving? I wonder. 98% of the lesbians I have met have no concern for one another or their own community. It's all about themselves. Sometimes I think that lesbians are worse then men when it comes to emotion and honesty. I have been lucky however to find a handful of people that are true but is that all. It can't be! Is this my community? It seems that I am always fighting for and defending the lesbian community but sometimes I wonder why I do it. Can anyone understand or explain it to me? Perhaps I am just venting I don't know.


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east175
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Posted on Tue, Mar 11, 2008 09:46

i think youre all right. i also think that gays sometimes are just acting very cruel to each other. i cant (under)stand that. i mean we should all fight together for our rights and our space in the society but fighting against each other doesnt make being gay easier. its hard to confess i'd rather be ''normal''. being gay gives you the chance to have a different view at things but it also lets you become an outsider. and if all outsiders are alone like in my city its just bad.


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Posted on Sat, Jun 30, 2007 10:59

Hi RaggedyGran I see you did your response a year ago. Wonder if you look here anymore? I liked what you said about where to find people that care about each other. Friendly churches and Habitat/Humanity. I have had a difficult time after moving to new area in meeting people that have any love in them. They have a need to be responded to, but little depth. Some are quick-witted and have a broad education, but I can't find the heart. It is discouraging. I don't really need a partner I guess (seems out of the question), it would just be good to meet lesbians that were not just trying to please themselves all the time.... food, entertainment, alcohol, and all the ways of competing with each other. I joined some online local groups, where older lesbians show up. Went out to a couple of functions and felt sort of trashed really. Maybe it was always this way and I didn't notice till I grew up. I was a looong time in growing up. Nice to see an older woman's post and guidance.


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proudtobegay2
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Posted on Thu, Jun 15, 2006 05:44

I would sincerely hope that gays care about other gays and their feelings because of the stigma society has put upon us but if you look at this from another view you can see that it's probably no different than how straights view other straights. People are people and it seems that more so lately, people only care about themselves. They probably justify this by feeling that no one cares about THEM so why should they care about others? A vicious circle. It's sad. Some people would say that "back in the day" we cared about each other more than now but I'm not so sure. They may think that is so because the world was a smaller place and we didn't have so many distractions. We had more connections with people one-on-one. No Internet, no phones, etc. These days, we are all about texting each other, no face-to-face contact and we are just words coming from cyber space. I care about people and I want to trust them but I have been burned so many times in business dealings that I too, am becoming like the rest of society. My heart though, is still big.


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patticat
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Posted on Tue, Jun 13, 2006 14:15

You are correct about me feeling like things others do may allow people to look at me that way. I guess I do have issues with that. I see some people of the lesbian community who make me angry in the things they do and I don't want people looking at me that way. I suppose that isn't great of me but what can I do?


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patticat
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Posted on Tue, Jun 13, 2006 14:11

That was sweet. Thank you for the inspiration. I know what you mean about the looks. I live in one of the largest cities but it has a small town effect. Maybe we can chat?


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patticat
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Posted on Tue, Jun 13, 2006 14:08

Thank you so much for your response. You gave me some really great ideas that I had never thought about. I love the Habitat for Humanity especially. Let's keep in touch.


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RaggedyGran
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Posted on Sat, Jun 10, 2006 23:49

You may be looking in all the wrong places. If your "friends" don't care about society's ills, you can be sure they won't care about one another or their community. How about volunteering for Habitat for Humanity? Women with tools who care about others are more likely to be at a place like that than the local Lesbian bar. Also, if you go to a welcoming house of worship you might find Lesbians who are caring. That has been my experience. Good Luck, Raggedy Gran


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DJaneLeni
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Posted on Mon, Jun 05, 2006 23:26

I think it has to do with being the society. It's unfortunate, but this world is still very closeminded. straight men and women and men and women who know are gay but won't admit it for a number of reasons are the majority. When 2 gay guys or 2 lesbian women walk into a place that attracts mainly straight people, they still get looks, people comment "look they're gay".... Sometimes the looks are not pretty, sometimes there's hate involved. We know we are still looked at as being different. So sometimes the natural reaction is to either to close up to yourself or not smile in everybody's face, because you know they won't change their opinion about you anyway. It's a self protection of some sort. As for inside the lesbian comunity....There can be a situation where a woman who's never been with a man or maybe a very long time ago likes another woman who recently came out or has a child, but is afraid to jump into that relationship, because she has doubts. Maybe she isn't sure if you know this is what you really want, maybe she is afraid you might leave her for a man. Women are careful. We think about stuff. Be true to yourself and if you want people to know the real you express it. Once they get to know you, they'll open up. It takes time to make real friends, I only have a few real friends, but they are dear to me. Good luck, follw your heart, you'll find the right people:) L


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SilvaE
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Posted on Mon, Jun 05, 2006 23:05

It's, to me that is, really hard to say. It really depends on the person, what they've gone through and what could have possibly triggered them to act the way they do. They can go from being afraid of commitment to being afraid of heartbreak or causing heartbreak or something else. And yes it is unfortunate that some women of our community don't do anything but seem to make things worse. I think that you might fight for it because maybe..you feel that if someone says something bad about a lesbian who just doesn't care and seems to be emotionless, will perject that on to you as uf you were that type of person? That they are generalizing. Like you've said that you've met a handful of people who aren't making our community seem bad. It's never really black or white and maybe I'm perjecting how I feel when someone says something crude about lesbians onto you..it all depends...


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SageSpirit
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Posted on Fri, May 26, 2006 13:04

I got the message. I don' know how to connect since I'm not a paying member... Do you? Shay


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patticat
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Posted on Thu, May 25, 2006 16:34

Hope you got my message.


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