Blog description: Hello all!! My name is Stefanie and I am new to gay world!! My whole life I dated guys and just never felt 100% complete but always felt it was just something that would pass... NOPE! I eventually came out to my close friends (went very well) and my parents (went not so very well). But I can honestly say Ive never felt so real since ive came out and Im proud and ready to explore!
So i made my 3rd attempt to work things out civily with my parents about me being gay... now only this time I have a girlfriend and the ambition to not back down! After saying what i had to say, for example: "Im not any different than before, you know my heart, soul and mind!" blah blah blah.... they (my parents) told me that my way of living isint welcome in this house. I said ok, fine and since i already prepared myself for the answer i expected i had already [acked my bags and made arrangments to stay with my gf and her family untill i could get everything straightened out with my life. My parents, when they found out where i was going shockingly asked for me to come back home so we can "talk".... when i arrived back at the house it started off as a screaming fight, then a physical brawl between my mo, and i, I almost left.. again, and the last 4 hours of that long day was spent in my room trying to meet "in between" with my mom. Long story short- im still living at home, still have a girlfriend (who cant come to the house, which was one of the agreements) and i still have my dignity. So if anyone is out there either preparing themselves for a battle or is fighting one right now, just remember- BE TRUE TO YOURSELVES!!
So at work a couple of days ago I heard a very disturbing and strange comment come from my boss. As im keeping busy at work, my boss approaches me with a very peculiar question- " how do u feel about the terms and conditions of giving blood?" I responded by saying "Im fine with the terms and conditions of giving blood, being that im a regular blood donar... why do you ask??" he said he asked because he was reading this article about how they should eliminate gays from giving blood because of the increased risk of aids (gay men that is) ..... my mouth immediately dropped after hearing him say "damn right!" WOW!
I first came out to this girl that I was attracted to, which went well! I then came out to my closest friends, which went VERY well:). Now for the true challenge- coming out to the family... yuck that was stomach turner! Considering I had a very close relationship with my mother I had a good feeling it was going to go well, but I wasent to keen on telling my step dad (who was very homophobic, a straight edge, and a strong catholic). So I finally found the courage to tell my mom that I was interested in girls and that I actually had feelings for a girl too... it started out as a shock for her ( understandable, and expected) but then she turned angry. It was only her and I in the house and we started verbally fighting then it turned physical, she gave me a black eye and then told me I had 2 hrs to get out of the house... I was speechless and very distraught! Thank god i have wonderful friends, so one of them picked me up and let me stay at her apartment. After the tears and anger I realized that not everyone will understand, that was hard to accept, but for my own sake and happiness I put the past behind me. After a week my mom finally called and said I was welcome back home... immediately she said your welcome to live here but under one condition, and that was to say I was going to through a phase and I wasent gay. Soo keeping in mind that I was eventually going to be moving out,I agreed to her terms. Everything was getting back to normal and things were just kept at a blind eye... Ive never felt so much hurt and anger in my life. I have lost so much respect for my mom, whom i considered to be one of my good friends. To this day I dont even know if my step dad found out but still as of now im living a lie in my own house and its a horrible feeling. Once I get my degree and start supporting myself financially I will tell my parents AGAIN and they will have to choose to accept or not accept- hopefully round 2 will go fine. But im still proud of who am and still smile everyday :)
"where is the love?"