Lesbian Blogs > Slechner's blogs > A coming out, gone wrong :(
A coming out, gone wrong :( Sort by:
Author
slechner
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 4
Posted on Wed, Jun 02, 2010 09:49

I first came out to this girl that I was attracted to, which went well! I then came out to my closest friends, which went VERY well:). Now for the true challenge- coming out to the family... yuck that was stomach turner! Considering I had a very close relationship with my mother I had a good feeling it was going to go well, but I wasent to keen on telling my step dad (who was very homophobic, a straight edge, and a strong catholic). So I finally found the courage to tell my mom that I was interested in girls and that I actually had feelings for a girl too... it started out as a shock for her ( understandable, and expected) but then she turned angry. It was only her and I in the house and we started verbally fighting then it turned physical, she gave me a black eye and then told me I had 2 hrs to get out of the house... I was speechless and very distraught! Thank god i have wonderful friends, so one of them picked me up and let me stay at her apartment. After the tears and anger I realized that not everyone will understand, that was hard to accept, but for my own sake and happiness I put the past behind me. After a week my mom finally called and said I was welcome back home... immediately she said your welcome to live here but under one condition, and that was to say I was going to through a phase and I wasent gay. Soo keeping in mind that I was eventually going to be moving out,I agreed to her terms. Everything was getting back to normal and things were just kept at a blind eye... Ive never felt so much hurt and anger in my life. I have lost so much respect for my mom, whom i considered to be one of my good friends. To this day I dont even know if my step dad found out but still as of now im living a lie in my own house and its a horrible feeling. Once I get my degree and start supporting myself financially I will tell my parents AGAIN and they will have to choose to accept or not accept- hopefully round 2 will go fine. But im still proud of who am and still smile everyday :) "where is the love?"


-Stefanie :)

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    2 up Bookmark and Share
meghanjf
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 21
Posted on Sat, Aug 21, 2010 04:29

I understand where you are coming from, hailing from a very conservative Hindu family, I know I will never be able to tell my parents about my sexuality. I know my parents will in fact never understand, and I really dont want to put them thru the pain of finding it out. I am not in the business of changing opinions. They have theirs and they hold true to their belifs, at their age it is not fair for me to put them thru the tourture of accepting something they dont understand.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
CarynLlewellyn
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1
Posted on Fri, Jul 30, 2010 22:42

Dear Where is the Love?: Hi honey...I'm sorry for your unfortunate experience with your Mother... But know this...Your heart is your best guide...feel things out and know that just because someone is rejecting you doesn't mean they don't understand where you are coming from... I myself come from a very confused home...where my Mother was/is a closet lesbian she quotes the bible & acts like she's totally Homophobic...yet I've witnessed her kissing deeply & actually sleeping with a (or rather a few) women...she is afraid to be herself...which led me to fear my true self & consequently I married a man or rather should I say I married 3 different men thinking that I had to be a certain way to conform to society...today at age 50 I say "enough is enough" I want to be myself & to experience all of the Wonderful things available to me in a "real" relationship...with someone I'm actually attracted to & who I can relate to... So Sweetheart...do your self a favor & tread lightly around those less than understanding, find your real friends who do/will support you no matter what & look for the "Genuine" Love that is available to you...You deserve to be happy no matter what someone of a shallow or closed mind has to say...regardless of who they are in your life... My prayers to the Great Mother of Love & Understanding are for You & I wish you the Best of Luck & a Wonderful & Happy Life...no matter Who You choose for Your Partner...Blessed Be Dear

Available only
to logged in members

Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    1 up Bookmark and Share
riotgrrrl
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 6
Posted on Fri, Jul 23, 2010 02:55

This is such a sad story in so many ways but a great story in another. I spent a few years wondering who in the hell I really was and was very confused about myself being gay or not but knew that the boys just didn't do anything for me except provide good company as friends. For many of us it's a process. It has its ups and its downs and one day to the next may be different all together. This is what parents have to go through too. Just because we have finally come to a place in our lives that have finally become embracing and understandable and breathable, we can't expect many others that have been in our lives for a much longer time than our sexual decisions have existed within our lives to embrace and to understand and accept us just over night. Its just like a party and we want to tell the world since it was such a pain in the butt to come to a clear road but they must go through a process too to understand this about their baby. Especially those who haven't really had gay friends in their lives or those who have been taught to see homos as sinful mixed up creatures. Let them air out their demons with this issue since they have just realized that they were the ones that have given birth to a child who is gay and now that finger that they have so many times pointed at others with this story is now pointing at themselves. Good luck in your future and stay true to yourself. Don't ever stop treating people around you in the way that wish to be treated by others. It may be hard but we all are connected and what you do as a gay women affects the outlook on us all at times when it comes to those ignorant to love beyond tradition. Stay strong Mikka MH


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Hot_Cakes12
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1
Posted on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 13:24

Wow! I admire your courage. I wish I can tell my family. Well, on the bright side you had your friends to turn to. I played an April fools joke on my best friend and told her that I was gay and she believed me of course and was shock. She was also speechless. When I told her April fools. She said "whew. " "Princess you scared me. I was going to say we couldn't be friends."


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
carmench
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1
Posted on Sun, Jun 27, 2010 15:20

I admire your courage. It is important to be out but it's also important to come out at your own pace. Don't let anyone else tell you how you "should" do it.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Tiffyboo1991
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 2
Posted on Sat, Jun 19, 2010 21:56

wow I'm sorry =( I hope your parents support you eventually. Sometimes it only takes but time. good luck =)


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
uricka
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 82
Posted on Sun, Jun 13, 2010 18:32

"Wherer is the love?"...in you. Love yourself and respect yourself, and you won't go wrong. I feel bad to what happened to you but i myself was condemned by family member and my family is solid Catholic and i can never understand the logic of their reactions. God forgives and loves us unconditionally. I stay away from people who are not willing to understand me and love me for who i am, i don't hate them but i pray for them. We can not change people only God can. Be strong and stand for your rights. Trials in life make us more stronger and be a better person. Sorround yourself with people who loves you, cares for you, and understand you. Always remember that there are women here who are always willing to help you. Take care and good luck.


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
carybehrcarybehr
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1
Posted on Sat, Jun 12, 2010 20:44

I'm hoping that your parents will come around. I am 55, and when I was 18, I told my mom and dad that I was a lesbian. My mom hugged me and said she knew, and my dad was as great as mom, only wanting me never to hurt because of it, because of a hostile society. Things have greatly improved in many areas of the world concerning sexuality. Eventually, I think after you are self sufficient and are living elsewhere, they will change their attitude, because they will miss the wonderful you if they don't...peace


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
j_j_j_v
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1
Posted on Sat, Jun 12, 2010 17:05

wow, i am sorry that round one went that way, i have a close friend that is going through the same thing :( i cant relate because both of my parents were fine with me as i am and did not react near how urs did,,i hope round two goes better,, stay strong sweetie <3


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
projo121
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1
Posted on Sun, Jun 06, 2010 18:22

I think if your parents can't accept who you are then it's their loss, as long as you stay true to yourself fuck what other people think, as long as your happy right :) good luck for your 2nd time x


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    1 up Bookmark and Share
1qaz2wsx
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1
Posted on Sun, Jun 06, 2010 07:02

I love my parents too, It's always difficult to come out... Good luck


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
cheeky35
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 2
Posted on Fri, Jun 04, 2010 17:15

I sympathise with what you are going through i went through a very similar experience myself i didnt speak with my parents for months after telling them i even moved away from the area i called home. It was a full year before i actually saw them again my dad was surprisingly the one that understood me and was fine with everything and very supportive but my mum just couldnt seem to understand the whys and hows. Alot has changed for me now i am very close again with my mum although my sexuality is basically my business but as long as im happy so is she unfortunately my dad passed away and i miss him greatly but also feel that this made my mum see things in a different light. i hope all turns out well for you you have been honest with your friends and family its all you can do


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
removed_Wigeon
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 2
Posted on Fri, Jun 04, 2010 00:11

Hang in there. That is a tough scenerio to live through. I wish 30 years ago I had the courage to tell my parents. I did so jokingly but caved in and never said it with conviction. You need to think about being back there under HER rules. At some point you have to live your YOU and not for your parents. Good luck and keep a strong hear. Protect yourself, take care of yourself, be true to yourself. That is all we can expect form life.



Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Athena2001
Available only
to logged in members

total posts: 1
Posted on Thu, Jun 03, 2010 18:47

right. im proud you of you too >=D


Reply / add comments   Quote   Report abuse    0 up Bookmark and Share
Follow - Email me when people comment


Mobile Mobile Android Android Follow Us facebook twitter pinterest google+
Copyright © 2001 — 2014 LDate.com. All rights reserved.

LDate is owned and operated by SuccessfulMatch.com. LDate does not conduct background checks on the members of this website.