Home > Lesbian Forums > Lesbian Questions > Why are lesbians so afraid of bisexuals? Previous topic Next topic
Jump to:
Why are lesbians so afraid of bisexuals?
Author
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Sun, Sep 12, 2010 13:52

I have dated a lesbian and I heard a lot of questions when we were dating because I had been married before. Because I dated a lesbian didn't mean I only ever wanted women in my future.

I am open to either sex. But when I am in a relationship I am with that person fully no matter their sex . It's not a matter of what's between their legs, what's popular. It has to do with what is inside. That is what draws me. I am proud to be bisexual. And I am proud to have all sorts of people part of my friends. Gay, Lesbian, trans, bi.



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Tue, Mar 20, 2012 08:31

I don't know about where you ladies are from but, over here in a middle eastern country when a girl says she's "bisexual" it basically means she's going to be with girls for the sake of it until some loser proposes, then that poor girl gets ditched in an instant, either that or used as a sex toy in a behind-of-the-scenes affair. I've seen it many times, happened to me personally, and is a very usual thing, since there are a lot of fakers around here that 'act' lesbian for attention (teens mostly) but guaranteed to end up with some guy, even a lot of butches do this, when they find their guy they're all of a sudden oh so feminine and girly! There is no future to look forward to with them, so for a 'real' lesbian staying clear of bisexuals is a security measure.



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Sun, Feb 05, 2012 13:21

So people say lesbians are afraid of bi-sexuals because they have been hurt by one. That bi-sexuals are only such to play.

But haven't they ever been hurt by a "straight" lesbian? you can not tell me they have only ever been hurt by bi-sexuals.



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2012 23:10

It fuccking sucks. This situation caused me a lot of grief this year. I started dating a girl in May. I didn't get to see her during the summer between semesters. I did not cheat on her over the summer. When I came back from the summer vacation, she was afraid that I was going to cheat on her. paranoid. We didn't have many problems but I had recently come out of the closet from being a lesbian to being bisexual. This scared her because she had been hurt by a bisexual. As if a bisexual is some sort of other creature separate from fuccking human. I'm a person not a thing, I have feelings, I have MORALS. I wasn't about to go off and find a guy and cheat on her, I was with her. I just didn't wanna live a lie so that's why I came out. Just so she would know. I didn't wanna be keeping secrets like that from her. So from then on it was a constant struggle. Eventually I ended up cheating on her but not with a guy. And the reason I did it is because she cheated on me, and our relationship was basically already over at that point. I had broken up with her a few weeks prior to me having sex with another girl, but then I got trapped into a gray area of "being together" without either of us asking the other out we just kind of kept on like we hadn't broken up. Which I had broken up with her so technically it wasn't cheating. She was always drunk and coming over to my room at like 3 and 4 in the morning and a few times she had hickeys. So I found someone who accepted me for who I was. I had sex with my best friend over Thanksgving break. The point is that being paranoid about bisexuals is just going to put a strain on the relationship and other things will start going wrong. It has nothing to do with the fact that the person is bisexual.



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Sat, Dec 03, 2011 02:04

Quoting cutelipstick:

I'm bi-something... I hear what Clypto is saying about bi-curious versus bi-sexual, I've been looking for how to describe it for me. The amazing lesbians I've met in my life have been settled 100% in their truth of what makes them happy.

So I'm not just curious, I do know that sensuality with women is something I want, but I'm not clear what kind of main relationship I want.

When I've threesomed with a guy and a woman, my first woman, we connected spiritually and beautifully. I'm not curious, I'm undecided how. I haven't decided what shape of relationship I want to manifest and then cast for the role of lover. How would I do this? When the right person evolves themselves visible in a friendship, amazing commitment is just a given. How can I know I want to commit to love if we haven;t got chatting in a bar, and gone on dates? Talked about deep things? I'm not jumping into commitment with just any-old-one. They'll be special.

I think I'm bisexual because the relationship I want to commit to has both a woman and man in it, and they share too. I don't think I'm weird, I don't think I'm fully lesbian, I don't think I'm just bi-curious. I literally want the three. And I'm not decided yet if there should be a main core person in that, and whether thats the him or the her.

If this bothers my lesbian sisters, where is a better place to go meet people like this? The swingset seems full of ladies seeking a non-fulfilling college-whimsy fling, but that's not what I want at all. There's no personality in it.



...my thoughts exactly. Eerie.



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Mon, Jun 06, 2011 05:01

Words and Tags can have so many meanings and they can additionally change with who is viewing... We live life in the moment with a hopeful glace to the future. We should not though look to the past as the ground rule for what will be from what has been.



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Tue, May 10, 2011 06:45

I'm bi-something... I hear what Clypto is saying about bi-curious versus bi-sexual, I've been looking for how to describe it for me. The amazing lesbians I've met in my life have been settled 100% in their truth of what makes them happy.

So I'm not just curious, I do know that sensuality with women is something I want, but I'm not clear what kind of main relationship I want.

When I've threesomed with a guy and a woman, my first woman, we connected spiritually and beautifully. I'm not curious, I'm undecided how. I haven't decided what shape of relationship I want to manifest and then cast for the role of lover. How would I do this? When the right person evolves themselves visible in a friendship, amazing commitment is just a given. How can I know I want to commit to love if we haven;t got chatting in a bar, and gone on dates? Talked about deep things? I'm not jumping into commitment with just any-old-one. They'll be special.

I think I'm bisexual because the relationship I want to commit to has both a woman and man in it, and they share too. I don't think I'm weird, I don't think I'm fully lesbian, I don't think I'm just bi-curious. I literally want the three. And I'm not decided yet if there should be a main core person in that, and whether thats the him or the her.

If this bothers my lesbian sisters, where is a better place to go meet people like this? The swingset seems full of ladies seeking a non-fulfilling college-whimsy fling, but that's not what I want at all. There's no personality in it.



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Mon, Mar 28, 2011 22:52

I think a lot of lesbians have probably just been hurt by "bisexuals".

I know this is a huge problem in my age range. I keep running into "college lesbians". Lots of straight girls want to experiment with other girls, but they don't want to commit. I find these girls usually refer to themselves as bisexuals despite being merely bi-curious (for whatever reason). and I know several lesbians who've had experiences with these types of girls and left feeling terribly hurt and used... for some girl's little experiment, or some girl's attempt to make themselves more interesting to a man.

I don't think the straight girls in question necessarily had any malicious intent, but it is still a sort of false advertising that exists that leads lesbians to perhaps feel weary about bisexuals vs "bisexuals".

This is just something I've observed in my own circles. I'm not sure how universal it is.

I don't see anything wrong with bisexuals or even bi-curious women.. If a woman is curious, or if a woman is committed, she needs to clearly and honestly communicate her intentions with her partner. For the record, I think everyone should do that anyway. ;) I think it's a shame that there is that sort of weariness (I wouldn't call it fear) towards bisexuals, but I can understand how it's come about.



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Sun, Nov 21, 2010 09:02

I label myself as a lesbian. I was married at a young age and have three children from that marriage. Many of the women I have met have told me I am not really a lesbian because of this past and that yes indeed I should label myself as bi even though I have absolutely no interest in ever being with a man again. Personally I don't let it bother me, as the women who have said this obviously have their own personal issues to work through. In the big picture it all comes back to a saying I love and find very true. "Those who matter won't care, and those who care don't matter."

Live your life in the manner that is true to yourself and surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are. You will always meet people who may have issue with your lifestyle, but if you quit reaching out to new people you will miss the ones whoare willing to look through differences and see them for the small things they are



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Sun, Oct 17, 2010 04:16

I agree with the previous post it is a choice or preference not a fear. But the basic fear is licking a woman and having semen from a guy she last sexed oohze out. Gross for lesbians! Or the misconception that because she is with a man she is prone to more STD's, etc. The other fear is that if you happen to get into a relationship with one, it is not long term because one day they will wake up and want a man.

I've personally dated bi women and found them to be no different than a lesbian. As a matter of fact the lesbians I've dated had more dick in their past than the bi women I've been with...go figure that one!

I say judge a person for who they are and leave the stereotypes alone.



Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Mon, Oct 11, 2010 12:38

Someone said: So have they always been lesbians? Seriously? Does it matter, if now they are Only attracted to women?
Are you suggesting they should label themselves 'Bi' because of their past?

No I am not saying that. Because that can be true for both sexes. I am saying there are souls who are attracted to both. But why is it so hard to accept someone can be attracted to both. But they are faithful and only interested in the person they are with now. Wether it be male or female.

I am trying to ease this fear because of one thing. This fear they will find a person of the opposite sex of their partner and immediately want to be with them. To me it's no different then a lesbian that could get attracted to another lesbian even while with a lesbian.

Why automatically judge a bisexual will want to switch teams or want a threesome? I am just saying give us a chance. We're not that different.



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Sun, Oct 10, 2010 23:26

One possibility is a bi-sexual woman could be with a bi-sexual man. There seems be a great (greater?) health risk with a man having unprotected anal or oral sex with high risk males.



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Available only
to logged in members
Posted on Sun, Sep 19, 2010 15:00

I understand that fear but how is that different from a lesbian seeing another female? A lesbian can be with another lesbian but then one sees another lesbian they would prefer to be with.

Now granted there are some bisexuals who want the trio. But actually many of the ones I have met and even me. Once they are in a committed relationship they are with that person despite their sex. I found an article that was perfect in describing what a bisexual is.

They look deeper then the sex of their partner. I know myself I look deeper into the person, towards the soul. Many lesbians I have spoken with have been with men in the past. They have even been engaged or married in some cases. Now they are calling themselves lesbians. How is that different from one who is open to either sex. Does that make them automatically crossed off from the lesbian only rating?

I am attracted to some men and some women. I don't have a type. I am more open to that deeper experience.



Reply / add comments      Quote      Report abuse   Bookmark and Share
Mobile Mobile Android Android Follow Us facebook twitter pinterest google+
Copyright © 2001 — 2014 LDate.com. All rights reserved.

LDate does not conduct background checks on the members of this website.