Having some confusing troubles with my lady. Lesbian Troubles Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Sep 30, 2013 at 11:15 PM

    Hey! I'm new to the forums. Please excuse any mistakes I might make if I have already, haha.


    So, I've been with my lady since April 3rd, 2011. Yeah, a while. We're long distance, and it's tough. But things didn't seem to be going wrong for a while. As a matter of fact, she still confirmed her love for me, just at the beginning of August, but then school started, things have been rough since then..she eventually told me that she loves me, but doesn't seem to feel a romantic connection anymore..? That it's very confusing, and she doesn't know where it went wrong. That it's not my fault.  I really don't want to lose her, I love her deeply. I asked her last week if maybe there's still a tiny hint of that love in her left, and she said "a little". I'm at a loss for words. But this is enough for me to keep on trying. I'm giving her space now, I only talk to her if she texts me. It's tough for me but I don't want to drown her with begging and smothering her in affections to keep her from leaving. Because quite honestly, it makes me look excessively desperate (and I am, but I don't want to disrespect myself either). I've been refraining from saying "I love you" yesterday, and today. And I plan to not say it once until October third, marking two years and six months of our relationship. I've written the lyrics to a song for her, and I'm working on creating a simple tune to go along with it. It's the first time I've done this. Do you guys think she'll appreciate it? 

    Also, I told her I'm going to visit her in December, for sure. She seemed really excited about it. 

    I'm just really confused too, guys. Do you think she's still into me? Will this romantic attempt at wooing her possibly work? I know I'd love it..Please, advice only. I don't want to be criticized harshly. I'm already going through enough. Just advice. Thank you.


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  • View author's info Posted on Oct 29, 2013 at 12:50 PM

    I think your song is sweet, and she will be touched. But, I don't know if you will get the result you want from it. She said she is already out of love. Are you sure you want the old relationship back? Maybe there's something more for you out there. Having your heart broken definately sucks! But, the pain subsides (changes), and eventually you fall in love again. Trust me 20 years after my 1st devistating, humiliating, bile envoking heart break; I realize she was all wrong for me. I can and have had better relationships. You're young and beautiful. There will be tons of women in your future who will love, appreciate, and treat you the right way. Keep your head up.

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 16, 2013 at 07:36 PM

    People do fall out of love sometimes and it's incredibly painful for the other one still in love. If.she.still feels.a "little" for you than you can still hope but try not to get tem up to.high. it just makes for a longer,harder fall. I'm sorry you're gotng through this.I think we all have at one time or another.and it really sucks. I would give her space and time to think and hope for the best. Give her a chance to miss you see if that changes things. You're right about not smothering her because that's just going to make it and were quickly. Its a tough situation I hope it works out for you. But if she has fallen out of love with you then there isn't much you can do to change her feelings. That would be up to her. We can only control our own feelings. I don't want to see you get hurt even though you're already hurting I don't want to seem to get worse. So that's why I was so tell her exactly how you feel and put the ball in her court. Good luck and keep us posted

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