What if you are attracted but don't know if she is lesbian? Lesbian Questions

  • View author's info Author posted on Oct 04, 2010 at 00:23


    I've met women who just made my toes tingle when I was around them. I've wanted to touch them, tell them how attracted I am. But I'm always so afraid they are completely straight and will be offended by my attraction to them. How do you start? How do you know if they want you too? Maybe I missed a perfect relationship because I didn't know how!
  • 10Comments

  • View author's info posted on Aug 09, 2013 at 01:08


    Just wanted to comment, this is sad, but true.  I'm a light weight so the slightest will get me to feel more comfortable.  However, thats only to flirt with people I know and just talk more openly with a group.  Still haven't gotten to a point to take it out of a familar setting.  Maybe one day soon.
  • View author's info posted on Oct 30, 2012 at 20:07


    THE FACT THAAT YOUR NOT OUT MAY BE YOUR WHOLE ISSUE. NOT SAYING JUS GO AROUND BLURTING THINGS OUT LIKE HEY IM A LESBIAN BUT MAYBE IF SHE KNEW SHE WOULD KNOW HOW TO CARRY IT WITH YOU I HOPE UR GETTIN MY DRIFT! SMILLE* ANY WAY I WAS IN THIS SAME STINK AND ONE DAY I WAS JUS LIKE EFF IT  AND ASKED HER HOW YOU  FEEL IF A WOMAN HAD A CRUSH ON YOU ! SHE SAID THAT IT WOULD BE EXCITING BECAUSE SHE LOVES A WOMAN TOUCH HOW FREAKIN LUCKY WAS I I HAD NO IDEA SHE WAS INTO WOMEN BUT I HAD TO HAVE HER AND I GOT HER EVEN THOUGH SHE TURNED OUT TO BE A NUTT CASE MY POINT IS YOU NEVER KNOW UNTIL U ASK! GOOD LUCK
  • View author's info posted on Oct 04, 2012 at 17:54


    I would look for an opportunity to let her know you're a lesbian. Talk about going to Pride, or bumping into your ex or something that lets her know. If she's a Lez and likes you she'll respond.
  • View author's info posted on Mar 20, 2012 at 08:35


    Yeah I feel your pain, over here if I flirt and it turns out to be a straight girl I'd more often than not get in a huge mess, homophobes are a little too common around here I'm afraid. Which makes me always scared to approach and wait to be approached instead, which is rare because I'm butch and supposed to be the one doing the first step -w-'
  • View author's info posted on May 22, 2011 at 00:10


    The simple answer  is...ask her...ask whatever you need to know to clear that message from your thoughts...if she is a lady and would not entertain any other thought other than simply answering your question...you'll have your answer. 

  • View author's info posted on Dec 09, 2010 at 20:17


    worst case? you get embarrassed. things are awkward.

    but in order for electricity to flow, it needs 2 poles.
    chances are, you aren't alone in this feeling.

    touch her arm
    stand to close
    speak softly
    ...
    too bold?
    tell really corny jokes.
    if she laughs at lame jokes or playfully makes fun of you,....
    you'll know real quick
  • View author's info posted on Nov 12, 2010 at 13:50


    babe,i think all you need is abit of liquid courage..... that always does the trick
  • View author's info posted on Oct 22, 2010 at 18:12


    I hate it when i get this real attraction, vibe off a woman, then it turns out shes not into women at all
  • View author's info posted on Oct 17, 2010 at 04:41


    I'm not out either but intimate convo and getting to know eases the path to expressing your interest. Subtle flirting helps too.
  • View author's info posted on Oct 04, 2010 at 12:46


    Thanks, I'll start working a little more towards flirting and talking. I'm always so nervous when I feel that attraction. I have been looking for someone special for a while but I'm not out and I don't want to be out really. I like being discreet and behind closed doors. Whew! I think I may have met one recently because she is always flirting with me when I see her at work. Maybe I'll take time to flirt back ;)
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