how to get a straight chick back Lesbian Troubles Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Oct 04, 2010 at 04:04 PM

    Have been in a relationship wiht a straight chick for 15 months, it was incredible, but she was always worried about her freind or work finding out about us and they have and she has told me that the relationship was a mistake, which has hurt me so much as I thought that i would be with this person for ever.
    I know that she has gotten really scared of the fact that her freind and her work has found out.
    The person who I was close to came to me one day and told me that her uncle was dying and we talked as she was a close to him as i was to my dad, i said to her that she would have to show him all of the courage, strenght and bravery that she could hold together for him so that he would get the courage to fight this aweful disease and she burst into tears and we hugged and she managed to hold it together for her uncles sake.
    How do I get that person out who I know is still there and for her to stand proud that she the most wonderful relationship wiht me? please help as this is tearing me apart!!
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  • View author's info Posted on Jan 31, 2013 at 10:08 PM

    I agree that you can't force a person to come out.   It has to be something they are ready to do.  I think it's impossible to get a "straight chick back" into a relationship, without her first evaluating and accepting her own gayness.  She has to come out to herself first.  Only then will she be comfortable coming out to everyone else, no matter what the cost.   Simply because she accepts herself.  My advice is to move on and set up boundaries for your next relationship to keep your heart and emotions healthy and sane.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 31, 2012 at 11:24 PM

    hey tracynz - the problem isn't that she is forever straight because she was with you. the problem is that she refuses to take on the challenges of some of todays straight society that hates us because we aren't straight so remember this isn't your fault but more of society's fault because they don't realize that the only difference between a man and woman is their anatomy not their emotions or soul. a smart move is to only go out with girls that are already out. 
    - an tracy .....hope you are in healing mode now as time does heal all wounds and no worrying about the past as when one door closes a better one opens so make sure to keep your eyes open so that you can walk throught that door that opens full speed ahead. :)
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 19, 2011 at 11:52 PM

    Wow! THIS SOUNDS FAMILIAR!!!! So familiar that this had tormented me so much I wrote a book about...and currently writing the sequel..... I hope, if you'd like to read my book....That it'd help you understand both perspectives, just as writing it (and reading, re-reading it over and over again) had helped me....It's called Aphrodite's Sister: Goddess of can find it on amazon, Barnes n Noble, internet..etc. Seriously though,I hope your situation only comes to a happy ending, 'cuz we all know life isn't a fairy tale.

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  • View author's info Posted on Nov 29, 2010 at 12:18 PM

    for you to want to come out is totally up to you and you must do it in your own time so that you yourself are happy and that you arent doing just to please someone else.
    for me this person who i thought that I would spend the rest of my life with is not quite the person who I thought that she was, we got so close that nothing was taboo between us, we kept it quiet and then it got out and now, she even dounces the relationship saying that it never happened and i have lost my membership from my gym due to this. this person has just lied about me and about us and i feel like that i have lost someone like you do when someone you are so close to dies. she is now wiht a freind of mine and he is a bodybuilder as well and they are made for each other liek her and I was. to show ayou a little bit baout these two he is married, was living with his wifes parents who were susporting him while he competed and also while he got hsi personal training business up and running and now he has left her from this person.
    She on the other hand has continued to lie we have ended up in court and now which is so hard is that i have made a triple complaint of purjury and also a complaint of fraud against her. she gets convicted there is a maximum of 7 years for a single count of purjury and also she will lose everything that we talked about so much about and that she worked so hard to get. it is so hard and i just hate life at the moment and I know that there will be someone who will just sweep me off my feet when i least expect it.
    Next time i will make sure of a few things first though.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 28, 2010 at 07:44 PM

    Wow. I can totally feel empathy to your situation. I have viewed my own situation from both point of views.Its the opposite. I havent been with a girl yet but Im scared one will not want to be with me because I havent come out yet! I can imagine being who you are and open about your sexual preference , but yet having to hide it because your partner isnt fully out! I cant say what I think will happen for you, but I do feel your pain. I havent had my heart broke in years. Im hoping I dont have the same experience with women that Ive had with men!
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 22, 2010 at 03:36 AM

    Both me and my Ex partner were straight or so we thought prior to our relationship and we separated three years later because she couldn't bring herself to coming out as being in a relationship with another woman I'm sorry hun it's so hard x
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 16, 2010 at 11:58 PM

    Can't help there sweetheart.. It'she's either comfortable with being with another woman or she isn't, Forcing the issue will only make it worse. Give her some time to determine what she wants.


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